Depression, Stress,Anxiety and A possible eating disorder? Lets talk.

*possible triggering content, please do not read if you’re vulnerable to triggers*
So i know i don’t post as regularly as i should and trust me that makes me feel BAD but i work a lot and when i’m not working i just like to chill…plus the fact that i struggle to actually think of blog content that people might actually want to read. Anyways we’re about to get REAL. No statistical facts, no stereotypical views. Just real life experiences from my life with depression anxiety and all the rest.
Lets start with the big D, calm your filthy minds, I’m talking about depression. Yes i know I’ve already done 2 posts about it, how dare I, but its something that isn’t spoken about enough so here i am talking about it a little more. Let’s start with the basics, depression is not feeling sad because you broke a nail, it’s not being upset because your pet passed away. In fact, those of us that are depressed don’t really feel all that sad at all. I feel numb, an awful sensation of nothingness flowing through my veins, i stare off without realising and then struggle to actually refocus. I feel like everyone around me is moving fast and i’m stuck, not moving at all. It’s easy to smile through this and pretend things are OK, i’m getting good at that now. Then there’s the struggle of actually pursuing the day, getting out of bed, washing, getting dressed can seem like a marathon that isn’t worth running. Some days everything is easy, i can feel again then others days its a fast and hard crash. I feel nothing, but i want to feel something and at the lowest point that’s when i hurt myself. To feel. I won’t go into detail but just know that those of us that have self harmed for reasons other than to gain attention, we feel nothing but guilt after, so we don’t need you to add to that. I believe i have something more than depression, i can be hyper emotional and become overwhelmed with too many emotions and it becomes a real struggle to function. Thankfully i haven’t experienced that lately, i’m in a great place with great, supportive people around me. I’m Ok, in my sense of the words.
Next is stress, i think some people don’t realise that stress can make you ill, it can make you sick, give you headaches and just knock your immune system down. You have to learn what your calming technique is, whether its taking a walk, taking a break from social media, reading a book or doing yoga. TAKE A BREAK. Nothing in this world is worth deteriorating your health for. I’ve had literal mental breakdowns from stress and it’s really not nice. You cant sleep, eat or chill because all you can think about is the thing your stressing about and it drives you insane. So believe me when i say, you need to take that step back.
A is for Anxiety, i’m thankful to say that my anxiety is only mild, but unfortunately its over the smallest, most insignificant things. For example, in my job i have to spend all day talking to customers, answering the phone to people and doing tannoy calls over the shop when i need someone, but when it comes to having to do a tannoy announcement that’s longer than a few words like i’m used to, i physically can not do it, i freeze up and feel like i’m about to throw up. Or when i need to make a phone else where i just cant, it sucks and i wish my brain didn’t work the way it does but don’t we all? Then there’s cooking, i cant bring myself to cook when there’s other people around me other than my mum, weird right? So when my boyfriend is over i just wont eat unless he decides to cook, and i house share so if the others are around i just wont do it, my brain wont let me. I know there’s people out there with much worse conditions of anxiety than me and i know its easier said than done but what i found helps me best is to just force myself to do it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but you don’t know until you try and you feel so much better if it does work.
Now for the self diagnosed possibility of an eating disorder. I’m not encouraging people to google search there symptoms and diagnose themselves but having previously been on the very edge of one, i know the signs and they’re flashing at me. Now i don’t know if i have body dismorphic disorder, an eating disorder, both or nothing but i’m just gunna share my story. I’ve always been obsessed with my figure and my weight and i had a lot of ‘puppy’ fat when i was younger but i believe this to be the route of my depression, i got to a stage where the only meal i ate was dinner and it wasn’t a big plate. I became skinny, i was happy with myself but i wasn’t healthy, i had blackouts i was underweight and i turned down food i knew would make me gain weight. I was borderline anorexic. I then slowly ate more, gained weight, got to a healthy weight and then started to go past that stage and ended up in the same position as i was in before i lost all the weight. Unhappy, disgusted by myself and looking at food and only seeing ‘i’m gunna make you fat’. That’s where i am now, I can’t bare to see myself in the mirror, i have to either not look or cover them up. I wont wear t-shirts in public, only baggy jumpers regardless of the weather and temperature, because they show my arms and my figure too much. I wont take food because i feel guilty after eating but then sometimes i’ll binge eat crap and feel bad about it later on. Its really hard for me to explain to people just how upset it makes me and how tiring it actually is to feel like this. It’s so emotionally draining. I don’t even know if the way i see myself is actually how i am anymore because sometimes i see myself and a walking dumpling and others as a victoria’s secret model. Its a battle i have with myself everyday and i’m losing. I pray that no one has to go through these feelings but sadly i know that there’s many who do.

Please seek help, and if you’re not the one struggling then keep an eye out for those around you. Some of us are really good at pretending we’re okay.
I’ve started a fundraiser for a young suicide prevention organisation if anyone wants to get involved. I’ll post the link below 🙂

Sincerely, S x

Advertisements

Marc Jacobs Beauty X John Lewis Un-boxing and Review

Hey guys! Hope you’re all doing well and having a good start to the year. This post is very exciting to me because its a review on the Marc Jacobs Beauty Highliner Matte Gel Eyeliners. I was SO excited when i found out i was going to be receiving these in the post it was like Christmas all over again!

Marc Jacobs Highliners retail and £20 each but honestly i think they’re so worth it. There’s 12 shades all together, all amazing looking shades. I received the colours ‘Earthquake’ and ‘Pink of Me’ and both are so pigmented, Earthquake is slightly more pigmented as you can expect from the darker of the shades but both are still very pigmented. I am honestly in LOVE with these eyeliners, the formula is so creamy, they just glide on and they’re so long wearing once they set. You could literally cry all day and walk through a rainstorm and they wouldn’t budge and add such a nice pop off colour to your looks.

The only downside to these is that they’re twist up pencils so you cant really sharpen them, meaning that it’s harder to produce more precise looks like winged eyeliner when the tip becomes less pointed. Other than that pointer, these guys are flawless in my eyes and i am so so grateful and happy i got to try them out.

 

 

*Disclosure, I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes*

Hope you guys enjoyed this post and I’ll be back again soon!

 

Sincerely, S x

New Year, Better Me!

HELLO everyone! Happy new year, hope everyone is well and had a good end to 2017. It is me, I am back after having a very long time off to sort myself out and you know what? I am feeling amazing for it! I can not stress enough how important your mental health is so if you need to take that time for yourself then do it, you’ll feel so so much better for it! 

I am so happy to be back and very excited to have been placed on the shortlist to work with some brands which has led to a very exciting opportunity for me but i’ll talk more about that in my next post…no spoilers yet!

Anyways this was just a small post to let you all know i am back and creating new content so..

Watch this space!

 

Sincerely, S x

Collective Superdrug Haul!

Hello my lovelies! Over the past few weeks i have been accumulating quite a bit of makeup products so i thought i’d throw them in together for a haul for you!

Everything in this haul has been purchased by me from superdrug, it is mainly MakeUp Revolution products but there are some MUA and other products too. Let’s get started!

Processed with VSCO

I’ll start with the non makeup revolution products first, I picked up the MUA ‘Undress me too’ eye shadow palette, I’ve swatched a couple of these and I am so happy with how pigmented they are and the formula is lovely. I honestly can’t wait to see what looks i can create with the golden shades. Also from MUA i got one of there single eye shadows, i absolutely love this colour and again it’s so so pigmented.

The final things i got from the MUA section were a black pencil eye liner and a glitter eye liner pencil, these were only £1 each and i use eyeliners everyday so i thought i might as well pick one up. I also find these ones more useful as they have a sharpener in the lid, i always lose my actual sharpener so its nice to have one there all the time.0724bb1b-69c2-4d35-8cf1-26085f10c426.jpg

The next two things are a pink toned Highlighter by Freedom Makeup and Candy Blush by w7. Both of these products are pretty good quality for the price of them, i love the way the highlighter looks with the pink tones in it, it really adds a great finish to a look.

Now for the big one, Makeup Revolution products from. Makeup revolution is typically my go to superdrug brand i have sooo many of their products and i love all of them. So lets get started!

The first Make up revolution product is their Lip Lava in the shade Tremor (i believe) , i wanted to buy one to try out the formula as i’m yet to find a lip product that i love. I think this product is their take on the too faced melted lipsticks because they look quite similar and MR also have a molten chocolate collection which i’m presuming is their take on the too faced melted chocolate range. I actually really like this product, though the shade doesn’t look right on me but the formula is pretty good for the price and overall i was really happy with it. I’m still trying to find a lip product that works well for me and a shade to suit me…what’re your favourite go to matte lipsticks/liquid lipsticks? I’d love for you to let me know!

Now for the big one, i purchased the Makeup Revolution 12 Days of Christmas box and my god it’s amazing! For £35 to get £75 worth of stuff you can’t really go wrong can you? Here’s what comes in the box…

First thing i pulled out it the Fixing spray, i’m actually really happy this was in there because i’ve never used a fixing spray before as i don’t tend to wear that much makeup on my face but i’m looking forward to see how well this works!

The box also comes with a Aqua Priming spray, which again i was really pleased to have as i love using primers and the effect they have on looks..hopefully it does it the trick! Speaking of primers, you also get the focus and fix eye primer. This one i’ve actually used before because i got it in a gift set they did last year so i already know its really good and i’m super glad to get a new one because mines running low. Plus the packaging though!

Now onto the eye products, you get 3 eye palettes (two eyeshadow ones and an eyebrow palette). I have to say when I purchased a gift set last year, the quality of the palette was quite disappointing but these two are amazing! I don’t know if they have changed their formula or anything but the colours are way more pigmented and actually come out the colour they should be. Both palettes have their share of cool and warm tones and have some autumnal colours too which i absolutely love. Below is a few swatches of two colours from each palette using the tool they come with. If you would like a swatches or maybe a look i could create please just comment below i would be happy to do so!

I’m really excited to try out the brow palette too! I’m not a makeup expert and i dont really do my brows like most people do but im really excited to try it out! So in this palette you get four eyebrow powders, two creams, a wax, a cream highlighter and two powder highlights. Honestly everything you need for your brows is in this palette!

Face products, and there’s plenty! So lets stay with blush and highlight. In this box you get a powder blush palette and honestly it’s stunning and the colours are definitely very pigmented! You also get a cream highlight palette and seriously guys, 8 didfferent highlighters, there’s no reason for you to not look like a pretty little glazed donut!

Finally for the contouring, okay so you get a ultra contour stick and a ultra highlight stick, i haven’t tried these out yet and i’m not very good at the whole contouring thing but i can try so i can give you my opinion! Both are double ended but on the contour you get one dark contouring shade and one highlighting shade. (sorry about the pictures! need to work out a good background and decent lighting!)

And the final item are lip products! You get three nudes shades of lip glosses, when i swatched them on my hand the colours were gorgeous but obviously it’s lipgloss and so when you apply it to your lips, the colour tends to be more sheer, but they still seem to be amazing!

I’m sorry for such a dragging post, but this is my collective superdrug haul! If you have any questions about anything featured on here then please don’t be afraid to ask in the comments! Hope you enjoy the read 😀 

P.s I’m really sorry for the shocking quality of the photos I am trying to work out was i can use as a better background and get better lighting! 

Also i’ll be doing a giveaway soon so keep an eye out for it! 

If you’d like to purchase the 12 days of Christmas box by Makeup Revolution you can do so here.

Sincerely, S x

GlossyBox Unboxing! November 2016

Hey there my lovelies!

Today’s post is an un-boxing of my first ever Glossybox! I was very excited to receive it, i love a good surprise especially when its beauty related! For those of you who don’t know what glossybox is, it’s a subscription box that is £10 per month plus p&p. You can sign up for a monthly plan, a 3 month plan, 6 month plan or a 12 month plan. Which every subscription you chose, you’ll receive a box each month with 5 health and beauty items that have a total value that’s more than the cost of the box.

What did i get in my box?

2016-11-21 12.27.24 1.jpg

First thing i saw were some ‘Look so natural’ lashes by the brand Kiss, these retail at £4.95 and, for those who wear them, would be a great treat to receive in the box. I, however, probably won’t be wearing them and will likely be giving them away in a giveaway at some point!

Processed with VSCO

The next thing i pulled out was a trio pack of Quattro for women raspberry rain disposable razors. These retail at £5.69 for 3. They have 4 blades and a pivoting head to make shaving easier, if i’m honest i was actually really happy to see these as funny as it sounds. Every girl needs some decent razors right?

Processed with VSCO

Next is an eye shadow pencil by De Bruyere Beaute, in the shade Bubble 07 (what a great name?!) It’s a khaki grey shade, super pigmented and shiny with a creamy formula. This product retails at 15 euros, which is about £12.73. I can’t wait to create a look with this.

Processed with VSCO

Fourth item in the box is a Tapered blending brush by Ruby professional, retailing at 8 euros which is £6.80 roughly, this is a super affordable brush and well…you can’t have too many brushes can you? From touch this feel like a really good quality brush, its soft but firm which is good for blending. You could also use this brush for nose contouring, it’ll definitely come in handy.

 

Finally, the last item was the most expensive one and i’m quite excited to try out and review. It’s a Bio Cellulose facial treatment mask by 111skin, is retails at £20 so to get this in my box was really exciting. From what i can gather its a sheet that you put on you face that hydrates and locks in moisture to your skin. I can’ wait to try this one out!

Processed with VSCO

So that’s what i got from my November box, considering it was my first one i’m very pleased with everything i got and will most likely be continuing the subscription. If you’d like to subscribe simply go here. You can unsubscribe at any point!

Heres what the card in my box said about next months…

December Sneakpeek: Next month, our gift to you is the chance to pick your own box. Our beauty elves have been busy creating two seasonal makeup looks for you to choose from and both are as chic as each other. Keep an eye on your inbox for more details.

Hope you liked the post! 

Until next time, 

Simcerely, S x

How to relax after a long/hard day

Hello my lovelies! Hope you’re all having a fab week! Today’s post is about relaxing after a long or hard day. Everyone needs to relax every now and then so here are 5 ways you can do just that!

  1. I’ll start of with how i relax, I’ll usually come home put on some comfy chilling clothes and make a cup of tea. Especially in the winter months, a hot cup of tea and comfy clothes is a nice way to just relax in the evenings. I also light a scented candles because candles make me feel more relaxed and the smell are really nice too.
  2. Have a warm/hot shower or bath, take your time and then get into comfort clothes and take a nap or just relax in bed or on the sofa.
  3. Sit down for the evening and watch your favourite show or movie, either by yourself or with your friend/partner. Seems simple but it is a really good way to unwind.
  4. Colouring, you’ve probably all seen those adult colouring books that everyone loves, right? They are actually really good stress relievers. I often colour in the evenings and it really does help relax me.
  5. Meditate, i don’t do this personally, but meditation is a widely known way of relaxing, i would recommend just giving it a try!

So these are 5 ways i thought of, that you could relax after a long or hard day. Feel free to comment below if your have your own ways that other people could try!

Also my Q&A requests are still open i’ve only been asked 2 questions so would love some more from you guys!

Sincerely, S x

Blog Goals // 2016

Before NYE I was thinking about my general resolutions and goals for the new year. It made me think about what I wanted for my blog too because you’ve got to have plans right? Otherwise there’s no point in doing it. I’ve seen a few people do a blog goals post so I thought I’d share mine with you!

My main goal is to reach a wider audience, this isn’t for any fame reasons just purely because I’ve always wanted to have a wide range of people who I comunicate, I love reading the comments that are posted and I love helping people out so the wider the audience the more I can do this!

Another goal would be to make my post as interesting and creative as I can, I want to make sure that people want to read the post rather than seeing and scrolling bye, I want to be able to relate to everyone who reads it. 

I guess I mainly just want to improve all aspects to make it a bigger,more interactive place, I really hope I can do this because my blog means a lot to me!

I also want to know what your blog goals are! Share them below! 

(If you don’t have a blog then share some of your general goals for this year!)

Sincerely, S x