Let’s Talk: Toxic Relationships

I know I said once a week I’d do these “lets talks” but I finally have a day off and time to write one so I thought why not!

Toxic relationships are so common which breaks my heart in all honesty. Don’t be fooled and think that they’re just in romantic relationships either, is just as possible to have a toxic friendship and you need to be able to know when you’re in one so you can get out of it.

These types of relationships can be the starter of mental illnesses like depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety so it’s important to get yourself out and cut the toxicity out of your life before your mental state deteriorates.

Please note that even though I am and will be talking from a female perspective in a heterosexual relationship, both men and women can be victims of it and they can happen in all types of relationships.

I’m going to talk about the signs that you’re in a TR but also the positives of getting out.

Do they make you feel guilty about innocent things? Such as wearing certain clothing and spending time with other friends? This is NOT ok. Do you find yourself apologising for having feelings because they upset you yet made you look like the bad guy? NOT ok. Do you feel like you’re isolated, spending time with only them yet they can do whatever they want, see whoever they want? NOT OK. I spent a lot of time apologising because I was told i should “hide my feelings because it might upset that person” but that’s not okay. It drove me into a self harming state where I was then told i was “pathetic”. Crying in front of people meant that I was “attention seeking”. WRONG. A lot of this is control and it’s 100% not ok.

You need to be able to voice you concerns, your feelings, anything. If you can’t do so without feeling bad or without being belittled then that’s not a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships include communication, and being able to talk to each other without an issue and coming to understandings. In a friendship, if you feel your friend is being out of line you should be able to say so without it being turned round back onto you. Same in a relationship and your s/o should care enough for you to do this.

Thankfully I have not experienced a physically toxic relationship but there are plenty around. If you do not feel safe with that person then you need to find your escape. I know sometimes it can be scary but you need to find someone to reach out to and they will help. I also understand that sometimes in a relationship that is psychologically unhealthy it is hard to walk away because you feel like you need someone and they always know just the right thing to say to make you stay. Trust me, you don’t need them. You feel like if you leave you’ll feel alone and you’re not prepared to feel like that. You know that when the times are bad they’re awful but when they’re good, they’re amazing and that’s what you hold onto but you need to think more about the negative side because you need to put yourself first. Being alone and feeling alone can be horrible yes but once you push through that stage (and you will because you’re strong) you will feel so much better. You’ll start to love yourself when you didn’t before because of how little they made you feel. You’ll find happiness in yourself and then you can, not find happiness in someone else , but share your happiness with someone else. You need to stop the want and need to repair the relationship and accept that it’s not good for you, always put yourself and your mental state first.

Another sign is fighting, yes of course every kind of relationships has its quarrels but when it gets to the point where it’s constant and about the tiniest things, that’s when it’s abnormal. When you feel like everything you do causes an argument because it’s “not okay” that’s a problem. Walk away. The best thing for you to do is walk away, no matter how hard.

The most obvious one is that you’re miserable, all the time. You’ll pretend like your relationship is going amazing to other people but behind closed walls you’re down, sad, walking on eggshells to avoid another argument. Sometimes you’ll be happy because you’ll have that one good day that’s amazing but then it’s back to the same routine.

No one is worth wrecking your mental state over. No matter how much you love them or think you love them, you need to cut ties to any negativity to help you live your best life. If they cared the same way they wouldn’t treat you the way they do. It’s the actions of people that show how they feel, remember that.

Please put yourself first, if you need help please seek it, there’s so many people that will help if you reach out. I’m here to talk to anyone too.

Thank you

S x

twitter: @_omgsxph

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Let’s Talk: Mental Health

Hello everyone! Something different this time. I’ve decided that, although I love makeup and all things beauty related, beauty isn’t an ‘important’ topic. I’m going to be posting “let’s talk” posts at least once a week, I hope, on topics that people can hopefully relate to. Today’s one is as it says in the title, mental health.

I can’t begin to express just how important having good mental health is. People seem to not care about it because it’s not physical and you “cant see it”. In reality you can see it, if you actually pay attention to those around you and realise what you are seeing, you can see it so easily and this is what we need to do more.

That boy who throws up when he’s in a group of people he doesn’t really know? He’s suffering with severe anxiety. That girl who seems “moody”, “anti social”, tired and “out of it”? She’s suffering form depression and is likely feeling like she’s all alone. People ignore these signs but they’re the ones we need to look out for.

As a sufferer of both depression and anxiety I know how overwhelming it can feel and just how lonely it can feel at the same time. I’m thankful I have a level of anxiety I can cope with, I just get anxious of the REALLY silly things like playing games in front of people. But these aren’t irrational and it’s important to remember that just because you don’t see the reason to be worried, doesn’t mean its an irrational fear. Don’t make someone feel little about something they feel is a big deal.

As for depression, there’s so many small signs you can look out for in someone to know whether they may have it or not. Knowing them means you can offer help or be someone they can talk to. It can be incredibly hard for a sufferer to just go about their daily lives. They’ll often find it hard to get out of bed for reason they can’t explain and when they do it’s a great accomplishment to them. Here’s a few things to look out for in your loved ones and nearest and dearest:

• being down and withdrawn

• constantly tired

• irritable

• lack of motivation (usually to do with getting out of bed or doing daily things such as showering)

• seeming “zoned out”

• losing interest in things that usually make them happy

• low sex drive

• change in eating habits (overeating or losing appetite)

As for anxiety signs, they’re different for different people but the common ones are panic attacks and feeling/being sick.

Having a mental health problem is often just as bad as having a physical health problem and some people are suffering a lot more, finding it a lot harder to come out of it. Many believe that death is the only way out. If you look out for the signs, listen to people and provide support you can make someone life a much less lonely place. However, do not let someone with poor mental health manipulate you into thinking you have to revolve around them otherwise they’ll hurt themselves. This will only bring you down too.

Just look, listen and let’s end the stigma and drop the suicide statistics.

Thank you

Sincerely, S x

New Year, Better Me!

HELLO everyone! Happy new year, hope everyone is well and had a good end to 2017. It is me, I am back after having a very long time off to sort myself out and you know what? I am feeling amazing for it! I can not stress enough how important your mental health is so if you need to take that time for yourself then do it, you’ll feel so so much better for it! 

I am so happy to be back and very excited to have been placed on the shortlist to work with some brands which has led to a very exciting opportunity for me but i’ll talk more about that in my next post…no spoilers yet!

Anyways this was just a small post to let you all know i am back and creating new content so..

Watch this space!

 

Sincerely, S x

How to relax after a long/hard day

Hello my lovelies! Hope you’re all having a fab week! Today’s post is about relaxing after a long or hard day. Everyone needs to relax every now and then so here are 5 ways you can do just that!

  1. I’ll start of with how i relax, I’ll usually come home put on some comfy chilling clothes and make a cup of tea. Especially in the winter months, a hot cup of tea and comfy clothes is a nice way to just relax in the evenings. I also light a scented candles because candles make me feel more relaxed and the smell are really nice too.
  2. Have a warm/hot shower or bath, take your time and then get into comfort clothes and take a nap or just relax in bed or on the sofa.
  3. Sit down for the evening and watch your favourite show or movie, either by yourself or with your friend/partner. Seems simple but it is a really good way to unwind.
  4. Colouring, you’ve probably all seen those adult colouring books that everyone loves, right? They are actually really good stress relievers. I often colour in the evenings and it really does help relax me.
  5. Meditate, i don’t do this personally, but meditation is a widely known way of relaxing, i would recommend just giving it a try!

So these are 5 ways i thought of, that you could relax after a long or hard day. Feel free to comment below if your have your own ways that other people could try!

Also my Q&A requests are still open i’ve only been asked 2 questions so would love some more from you guys!

Sincerely, S x

Ebay finds!

Hello everybody!

I haven’t done a beauty post for a while so i thought i’d do one today and since i purchase two items recently i thought it would be the perfect chance to do a post.

I’ve seen a lot of ebay find videos on youtube and they were quite popular, hopefully you guys enjoy my blog post! I purchased an eye shadow palette and four eye make up brushes, both of the products i am very pleased with. Anyways let’s get talking about them!

Okay, so the first item was this amazing 120 colour eye shadow palette. Now, unfortunately the postman did not read the fragile sign on the parcel and literally chucked the parcel through the letter box making two colours smash 😦 but i fixed them! I got the more neutral toned palette but you can get another, very vibrant version full of all the colours in the rainbow if you wish! This one was only £5.00 which i thought was amazing for the amount of colours you get, the quality is amazing too! All the colours are very pigmented and there’s both matte and shimmery colours! I’m really looking forward to see what looks i can create with this one!

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The other item i got was these beautiful rose gold eye brushes, with white and pink hair. I am in love with these brushes, i love rose gold things and these brushes are just so pretty! And for the cheap price of £1.58 too! i was amazed! They feel good quality too, they’re soft but not too soft, the small one are a bit tougher which is exactly how you’d expect them to be. I really can’t wait to use these to create some pretty eye looks. 

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Hope you guys enjoyed my post, if you want the links comment below and i will send them too you and if you know of any good ebay bargains on make up then feel free to comment the links to me! I’m looking for a set of matte liquid lipsticks next! 

Sincerely, S x

Review: Pretty Little Liars Summer Finale

Hello, hows everyone doing?

Today was the summer finale for Pretty Little Liars, but fear not, the final 10 episodes EVER will be aired April 2017!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

It was a very good finale with a lot of mixed emotions going around, here’s my thoughts on it. Firstly how crazy is Hanna? Going after Noel by herself, of course we all knew it wouldn’t go as perfectly as planned but wow Hanna! Also who’s idea was it to give the blind girl the gun?! We all knew trouble was to come after seeing Jenna Marshal walking round with a gun in hand trying to follow the liars round a dark and dusty old house. I’m extremely shocked that both Spencer and Toby ended up hurt…but are they dead?? I guess we’ll have to wait until next year to find out! But as we know, those who appear to die tend to have a way of come back *cough cough* Alison. I hope that they’re not dead and rather just extremely hurt because Spoby was a favourite of mine and we can’t have the final 10 episodes without them, can we?

Another complete bombshell was Mary Drake being Spencer’s mum?! I had suspicions but i never thought they’d really go there and i’m not sure it was a good move either. What do you guys think? And if noel isn’t the other child then what is his role in all this? Why does he hate the liars so much? So many unanswered questions still.

Overall i did find the episode very good and it had a high shock factor but one thing that really irritated me was how they’ve made Ezra completely forget about Aria once he saw Nicole, Ezria is a pair that has been shipped from the start and I think it’s one that should stay till the end…but i guess if things aren’t going to work out between them,Aria always has Jason to lean back on.

I could ramble on all day about the episode but then it would get boring, please let me know what you guys thought of it and mention any theories you have..i love hearing them!

 

Sincerely, S x

Movie Review- Suicide Squad

Hi guys! Hope you’re all doing well and if any of you got your results today i hope you got what you wanted! I haven’t done a non make up related post in a while so i thought i’d do a movie review as i went to see Suicide Squad a little while ago!

For me, it was amazing i loved every second of it, the plot is brilliant, the actors are perfect and well who doesn’t love a little bit of insanity? Harley Quinn and The Joker were definitely my favourite but that’s because i like the psycho personalities that they have…i was a little bit disappointed to find that there wasn’t much of the Joker in the film as in the trailers he’s shown quite a bit and i wanted to see more of him and HQ together but at the same time i understand why the producers cut it out. It isn’t a film about the joker after all. 

BUT can we talk about Jared Leto as the joker? I thought he played it brilliantly, i mean let’s face it..the best Joker was Heath Ledger right? No one could play Mr J like Ledger so Leto had to take it in a different direction and it worked perfectly!

The actual composition of the suicide squad couldn’t have been better, they all have their own levels of crazy and they bring something different to the squad. I absolutely love the whole bad guys as heroes concept! I wish they had given Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) more lines though because his one liners had me in stitches!

Overall i think it’s definitely one you need to see, especially if you’re a fan of superheroes/villains, it’ll have you hooked right from the beginning!

5/5 from me, but i’d love to know your opinion! Feel free to comment below 🙂 

Sincerely, S x